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©️2026 Henlopen Free Press™️

Boardwalk Barker
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Boardwalk Barker:  because you deserve to be lied to by a reliable, local, fake news source.

TRUMP'S GREAT AMERICAN STATE FAIR: "From the Opening Exodous to the Final Humiliation"

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    HEADLINES

    Local Douchebag Home Brewer Insists 81 Minutes Is the IPA ‘Sweet Spot’

    Local Douchebag Home Brewer Insists 81 Minutes Is the IPA ‘Sweet Spot’

    Friends say the brewer, who also makes small-batch organic soap and insists vinyl sounds “warmer,” became visibly frustrated when no one at the table asked a single follow-up question.

    Full Story

    DelDOT Report Identifies Cause of Holiday Weekend Gridlock

    Local Douchebag Home Brewer Insists 81 Minutes Is the IPA ‘Sweet Spot’

    According to the report, responsibility for nearly all delays can be traced to Charles V. Bowers, 47, of Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

    Continue reading

    OCEAN CITY MAN MAULED IN MASCOT MAYHEM

    Emergency responders knew something was wrong when they received more than 40 separate 911 calls reporting "a french fry being murdered."

    Find out more

    Local Dog, Fed Up with Posing as Service Animal, Speaks Out

    "It's embarrassing," said Baxter, 6, while aggressively sniffing a parking meter outside a boardwalk souvenir shop.

    Full Story

    Class-Action Lawsuit Seeks Relief for End-of-Alphabet Families During Graduation Season

    Families named Anderson, Baker, and Chavez enjoy what attorneys call "an unfair and unreasonable early-exit advantage."

    Full Scoop

    Grandma’s Cursive Graduation Card Awkward for Local Grad

    According to family members, Keller had just graduated with honors and plans to attend college this fall, where she intends to major in communications.

    Full story

    Local Company Provides Walking Tour of Everything That Used To Be There, Back in the Day

    Tour participant Greg Malloy of Wilmington described the experience as “confusing but deeply moving.”

    Read More

    Gumboro Family Cashes In Twins’ College Fund To Secure Coveted World Cup Tickets

    “Those scholarships are out there,” Darren explained confidently. “One of these colleges has gotta need two skinny white kids from Gumboro who can run pretty good.”

    Continue reading

    Delmarva Klan Cancels "Pride March" After Several Members Misunderstand Group's Objective

    "The uniforms were very well made," admitted another member. "That's not really the issue."

    BwB Special Report

    Weathering The Woke Storm: NOAA DEI Policies Under Fire

    “These storms have historically favored a narrow subset of names,” a NOAA statement explained. “We recognize that whiteness in meteorology has left too many communities unseen in the path of destruction.”

    See the Full List

    TODAY IN HISTORY

    JUNE 28, 1926

    JUNE 24, 2026

    JUNE 23, 1775

    JUNE 23, 1775

    #QuickBites

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      DELMARVA VOICES

      Amid Rising Fuel Costs, Local Farmers Lure J-1 Workers Away From Boardwalk Jobs

      Some businesses have already begun adjusting their recruitment strategies, emphasizing perks like air conditioning, proximity to the beach, and the continued absence of heavy agricultural equipment.

      Find out more

      Ken Burns, PBS Announce New 27-Hour, 9-Part Documentary on the History of Minutiae

      Filmmaker says project will “finally give proper attention to the small, largely insignificant moments that shaped nothing at all”

      Continue Reading

      Lewes Man Scores Rare Dental Appointment, Community Celebrates

      Governor Meyer praised the feat as "Awe inspiring," and plans to commemorate the date as "Greg Millard Day: The Day Sussex Smiled".

      The whole story

      Local No Kings Rally Works Wonders As Not A Single King Spotted in Rehoboth

      While the rally successfully eliminated all known kings, observers did report a noticeable presence of queens, along with what some described as “a few princesses,” though officials clarified that these sightings were “outside the scope of the current initiative.”

      Check it Out

      Area MAGA Supporter Realizes Conspiracy Theory Cycle Has Moved On Without Him

      Local rally attendee discovers Hunter Biden laptop no longer canon.  Man arrived with fully prepared talking points from 2022 shocked To learn group has pivoted to new narrative.

      Find out more

      Salisbury Man, Out of Loyalty to the Family, Still Sending FB Friend Invites to Join His Mafia

      Local man praised for unwavering commitment to a game that no longer exists, feared by friends who thought they escaped in 2012

      Find out more

      Local Man Already Furious About Memorial Day Beach Parking

      Witnesses say 54-year-old Rehoboth-area resident Dave Kline began expressing parking-related outrage sometime Tuesday morning while driving past an empty metered space on Rehoboth Avenue.

      The full scoop

      Elkton Man Receives Nation's First-Ever Trickle-Down Check, Declares Capitalism “Officially Working”

      Wilkins says he discovered the historic payment while checking his mailbox Tuesday morning, where he found a United States Treasury check for $0.08 — a moment he described as “the greatest day of my life, besides Reagan’s inauguration.”

      Continue reading

      Rehoboth Launches "VIP Luxury Parking Experience" for 2026 Season

      REHOBOTH BEACH, DE — In what officials are calling “a much-needed upgrade to the coastal arrival ritual,” Rehoboth Beach this week unveiled its new Luxury Parking Experience, a premium parking option designed for visitors who don’t just want to park near the Boardwalk...

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        RECENT NEWS

        Pentagon Assures Public “No Risk” After Trump Allegedly Posts Nuclear Codes In Early Morning Rant

        Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt summed the incident up with a dismissive wave of her hand. "FAKE NEWS!  Those were YESTERDAY'S codes so 'No harm, no foul.'"

        Check out more

        DNC Forms Emergency Committee to Figure Out How to Lose 2026 Midterms

        Party leaders alarmed by strong polling numbers scramble to reintroduce classic losing strategies

        Get the latest

        Trump Voids 'Bad Deal' 1783 Treaty of Paris, Demands Charles Renogotiate Terms

        Vance, Kushner led team signs "Declaration of Dependence", restoring Monarchy after 250 year hiatus.

        Read on

        BwB News Exclusive ~ Trouble In Paradise?

        Exclusive Source: Melania Trump Starting to Suspect Donald Has Not Been Totally Faithful.

        Find out more

        Trump Pardon Leads to Child Predator Life SentenceI

        Experts confirmed the strategy should become fully obvious once everyone stops judging it by what actually happened.

        Continue reading

        Army to Re-Outfit Troops in Stylish Florsheim Shoes to Maintain “No 'Boots' on the Ground” Policy

        WASHINGTON — In a move officials describe as “technically accurate,” the Pentagon announced Monday that U.S. troops operating in the region will soon be issued stylish black Florsheim dress shoes in order to maintain... 

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        Dave, You're Fired!

        Wendy’s Changes Name of Famous Burger to “Donald’s Double” in Bid for White House Catering Gig

        Full Story

        Middle-Class Weirdos, Creeps Being Priced Out of the Market by Wealthy Elites; Tax Relief Sought

        Sociologists warn the cultural consequences could be severe. Without a stable population of creepy oddballs and dangerous predators, neighborhoods risk becoming socially homogeneous. “That’s not a community, most Americans would recognize,” said one sociologist.

        Find out more

        US Organ Donation Registry Will Now Require Loyalty Oath for Recipients

        Medical experts have attempted to explain that transplant allocation is based on medical urgency, compatibility, and survival rates — not voting history — but those clarifications were quickly dismissed as “deep-state nephrology.”

        Find out more

        Gen Alpha Pissed There Will Be A 3rd World War To Learn About Once They Reach High School History

        Teachers confirmed that historically significant conflicts tend to become major exam material, something many Gen Alpha students say they had hoped to avoid...

        Check it Out

        PHOTO JOURNAL: As we kick off another Summer season on Delmarva, its time for our LOCAL NEWS Year in review.

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          Recent Videos

          2026 Oscars Pre-Memoriam

          New for 2026 the academy has decided to honor our greatest stars - who probably won't make it to the next one - while they are still here to enjoy it.

          The Trump Admin, rn.

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          Six More Weeks of Winter

          An angry President Trump had strong words for "Very disloyal" celebrity groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil.

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