United Nations to Honor Ocean City

By Sirous Sabihi  |  Senior UN Correspondant

OCEAN CITY, MD — Representatives from UNESCO arrived in Ocean City this week to evaluate whether several downtown parking lots should be granted World Heritage status, placing them alongside the Great Wall of China, Machu Picchu, and the Pyramids of Giza.

According to officials, the nomination is based not on the lots themselves, but on the generations of memories they have created.

"These aren't merely places to leave a vehicle," said one evaluator while watching a minivan slowly stalk a family carrying beach chairs toward their car. "They represent hope, despair, negotiation, and occasionally mild road rage. Humanity has gathered in places like this for decades."

Researchers noted that many Ocean City visitors continue to return to the exact same parking lots every summer, despite having absolutely no idea whether a space has ever been available there.

The committee was particularly impressed by the ancient local ritual known as "The Follow," in which motorists trail complete strangers carrying towels and coolers for several blocks, convinced they're headed to an empty parking space.

Historians believe the practice dates back at least to the late 1970s.

UNESCO officials also praised the remarkable cooperation between drivers, pedestrians, and seagulls, calling it "one of the world's most complex living ecosystems."

Local business owners welcomed the announcement.

"It's nice to see our parking lots finally get the recognition they deserve," said one shop owner. "Most people spend more time looking for a space than they spend shopping."

The designation could bring additional funding to preserve several historically significant features, including faded parking lines, dented payment kiosks, and the mysterious compact-car-only space that has somehow accommodated three different pickup trucks since Memorial Day.

At press time, UNESCO postponed its final decision after evaluators were unable to find a place to park.