FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Department of Health & Human Services

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Department of Health and Human Services today announced that Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. will be working remotely for approximately one week while completing his annual molting cycle.

Officials emphasized that the process is routine, medically insignificant, and "nothing the American people should be concerned about."

"Secretary Kennedy remains in excellent health," said an HHS spokesperson. "As with many senior reptiles, he periodically sheds a thin outer layer of skin as part of his natural biological maintenance. We ask the public to respect his privacy during this brief transitional period."

According to the department, cabinet meetings will continue as scheduled, though participants have been advised not to make any sudden movements or leave heat lamps unattended.

Staff members say the Secretary has temporarily relocated to a warm, humidity-controlled enclosure equipped with a basking rock, fresh drinking water, and several thousand pages of questionable medical studies.

The spokesperson added that while the Secretary may appear "slightly shinier than usual" upon his return, the public should not interpret this as a policy change.

Officials also denied online rumors that the discarded skin would be preserved for display at the Smithsonian, confirming instead that it will be recycled into wellness pamphlets.

The department expects Secretary Kennedy to resume his normal public schedule once the shedding process is complete and his scales have fully hardened.

"We appreciate everyone's patience," the spokesperson concluded. "Molting is a natural part of the life cycle, and we remain committed to maintaining continuity of government throughout this brief reptilian transition."