CHAOS ON THE BOARDWALK: Local Realtors Swarm Santa’s House
City officials called as holiday cheer collides with the local housing market
REHOBOTH BEACH — The holiday season took a surreal turn Saturday morning when Santa’s House appeared overnight on the boardwalk, sparking what witnesses described as a “feeding frenzy of realtors” who mistook the festive landmark for a new oceanfront listing.
Within minutes, dozens of agents from across Sussex County had lined up outside the small red cottage, clutching clipboards and iPads, shouting over one another about comps, cash offers, and “motivated buyers.”
Children hoping to meet Santa were forced to wait behind the growing crowd of brokers, some of whom had already begun staging the porch with decorative throw pillows. “I just wanted to ask for a Nintendo Switch,” said one child tearfully, “but Coldwell Banker got here first.”
As the commotion built, a weary-looking Santa emerged, mug of cocoa in hand. “Welcome to Re-ho-ho-hoboth!” he boomed gamely, trying to calm the chaos. When asked about the listing, Santa shook his head. “Sell it? Ho, no. It’s an Airbnb. I just use it for the holidays to get away from the elves and unwind a bit.”
The line instantly deflated. Realtors dispersed, muttering about “seasonal inventory,” while two city code-enforcement officers appeared with clipboards.
“Mr. Claus,” one announced, “you’re operating an unlicensed short-term rental and are three years behind on accommodations tax.”
Santa glanced toward the gray Atlantic, sighed, and muttered under his breath:
“Ho… ho… hell.”
