DE Dems To Redistrict Counties in Gerrymandering Attempt

By Darnell Blaine  |  Political Correspondent

DOVER, DE-- In a move described by one aide as “bold, visionary, and geometrically illiterate,” Delaware Democrats this week announced plans to redraw county borders to “ensure progressive dominance throughout the state — once and for all.”

Under the proposed map, every county now includes a slice of Wilmington, several Wawas, and at least one yoga studio. The new Kent County, for instance, features a thin, snaking corridor stretching all the way up to the Brandywine area — “a bold artery of social justice,” according to one state planner.

” noting that “it’s just the kind of pointless distraction our voters need right now.”

Meyer himself praised the effort as “a victory for Delaware’s long history of pretending to be a much larger state.”

The redistricting proposal quickly drew attention from across the political spectrum. Sussex County Republicans called the plan “a desperate attempt to urbanize our cornfields,” while several progressive groups praised it for “finally giving chickens the representation they deserve.”

When asked to comment, U.S. Representative Sarah McBride issued the lone note of clarity in the debate:

> “Delaware only has one seat in the U.S. House. You can’t gerrymander counties that don’t elect anyone.”

State Democrats have not yet acknowledged this detail, saying only that “it’s about sending a message” — though no one seems entirely clear on what that message is.

At press time, officials were reportedly exploring whether Fenwick Island could be redrawn into a “nonbinary coastal district.”

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