Local Hero Claims Record for Number of Moles Wacked
The newly acquired prize is allegedly named Sir Bonksworth IV
By Scoop Fetcher | Mascot, Beat Reporter
REHOBOTH BEACH — Boardwalk regular and self-proclaimed “undefeated Sussex County mole-whacking champion,” Andy Enright, added yet another victory to his staggering Funland résumé on Thursday evening after obliterating the Whack-A-Mole leaderboard and walking away with the coveted oversized plush prize.
Enright, who has been “training every summer for two decades” described the historic win as the culmination of years of discipline, hand-eye coordination, and spending ‘dozens of dollars’ on the craft.”
“People don’t understand the grind,” Enright said while cradling the giant plush gopher he earned. “You don’t just stroll into Funland and become a champion. You have to humble yourself. You have to whack. You have to miss. You have to whack again. I’ve taken home gophers, dogs, bears… even a thing that might have been SpongeBob. It’s a lifestyle.”
Funland employees confirm Enright has been a fixture at the booth for as long as anyone can remember. One longtime attendant, who asked not to be named for fear of drawing the champion’s competitive focus, said simply, “He doesn’t play Whack-A-Mole. He becomes Whack-A-Mole.”
Despite being “oft-challenged but never defeated,” Enright maintains his title is open to all contenders—if they dare.
“Anybody who thinks they’ve got the reflexes, the courage, the intestinal fortitude… meet me at Funland in June,” he said, adjusting his grip on the plush mole. “I’ll be there. I always am.”
The newly acquired prize, affectionately named Sir Bonksworth IV, will reportedly join Enright’s ever-growing trophy collection, which sources describe as “impressive, confusing, and slightly alarming.”
Funland has not yet confirmed whether it will rename the booth in Enright’s honor, but insiders admit the idea has been discussed.
