Octagenarian Cobgresswoman Almost Done Job

By Darnell Weir  |  Chief Political Correspondent,  DEI Hire

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Maxine Waters announced this week that she will seek re-election in 2026, running for what would be her 19th term in Congress, a milestone that experts say officially qualifies as “less of a political career” and more of “a federally-funded lifestyle subscription.”

Waters, first elected in 1990 and sworn into office in 1991, would complete the term having served 38 years in Congress — a stretch of time that includes five presidents, several wars, multiple economic collapses, and the invention of Wi-Fi, yet somehow still ends with the congresswoman insisting she’s just “one more term away” from delivering the ambitious agenda her constituents deserve.

“This is a critical moment,” Waters told reporters. “My district needs leadership. It needs experience. It needs someone who knows how Washington works. And I believe I can accomplish a lot in the next two years.” Waters added that while some critics may point out she has already had nearly four decades to accomplish these goals, the congresswoman said the public simply doesn’t understand the timeline of government progress.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” she explained. “And neither is affordable housing, safer communities, improved infrastructure, expanded opportunity, and a better quality of life. These things take time.”

Many political analysts agreed, “Thirty-six years is simply not enough time to get anything done,” said one longtime observer. “But year 38? That’s where the magic happens. That’s when the systems really start to hum. That’s when you finally get comfortable, learn where the bathrooms are, and begin to understand how a bill becomes a law.”

Waters’ campaign is expected to focus on what she called a “forward-looking agenda,” including stronger protections for working families, expanded services for seniors, and “continuing the fight for everyday Americans.”  She also reportedly promised to modernize her office operations by exploring bold new technologies such as PDFs, email, and “possibly a second password.”

Meanwhile, local voters reacted with a mix of admiration and exhaustion.  “She’s been in office since George H.W. Bush,” said one constituent. “At this point, I don’t even know if she represents the district or if she just owns it.”

Waters ended her announcement by addressing skeptics who say 19 terms is excessive.

“I hear the critics,” she said. “But I’m asking you to trust me. I just need one more term to really start making a difference.”

At press time, Waters was reportedly drafting a new policy package titled ‘The Next Two Years Will Shock You’, which aides confirmed is “the same folder she’s been carrying around since 1997.”