US Capitol Tourist Seeks Bathroom, Grilled By Senate

By Darnell Kurtz  |  Senior Political Correspondent

WASHINGTON, D.C. — What began as a routine U.S. Capitol tour for a woman visiting from Muncie, Indiana, reportedly escalated into a two-hour Senate hearing on ethanol subsidies after she opened the wrong door while searching for a restroom.

According to witnesses, the woman — whose name was never formally recorded, though her tour badge read “Carol – Group B” — had briefly separated from her group while looking for a bathroom when she was intercepted by an armed security officer and “gently but firmly” guided into a hearing room.

“She sat down, someone swore her in, and then it was already too late,” said one aide.

Within minutes, senators began questioning her about corn ethanol blending mandates, rural fuel credits, and whether she believed federal subsidies distorted the free market or merely “stabilized America’s heartland.”

Multiple sources confirm the woman attempted to interrupt several times to explain she was not a policy expert and urgently needed to use the restroom, but her comments were either ignored or treated as nonresponsive.

“At one point she said, ‘I just need to pee,’ and the chairman thanked her for her candor,” said another aide.

As the hearing dragged on, senators reportedly used the opportunity to deliver lengthy monologues only tangentially related to ethanol, often addressing no one in particular. The woman nodded politely throughout, occasionally answering questions with phrases like “I guess,” “if you say so,” and “I’m not from Iowa.”

Observers noted that after the first hour, it became increasingly clear that no one in the room was listening to anyone else.
“She could’ve been talking about bird feeders,” said a lobbyist. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

After nearly two hours, the committee chair praised the woman for her “thoughtful testimony,” “bravery under pressure,” and “deep commitment to the democratic process.” She was then dismissed without further explanation.
The woman was last seen wandering back toward the rotunda, muttering something about bladder control and never wanting to hear the word “ethanol” again.

Her tour group departed shortly thereafter, unaware she had briefly served as a key witness in federal energy policy.