Local Kid Excited for Disney Star's Slutty Phase

By Marlon Watson  |  Entertainment Reporter

SANTA MONICA, CA — A local kid confirmed Monday that he is “extremely excited” for his favorite Disney Channel actress and pop Star's Career to falter - finally entering the inevitable phase of her career known in the entertainment industry as the “Adult Rebrand.”

“She’s really funny on the show right now,” said the kid, gesturing toward a brightly colored smoothie stand that suspiciously resembles every sitcom set ever filmed within three miles of the Pacific Ocean. “But my dad says this is the part where she gets a new haircut, starts wearing fewer clothes, and releases a song that’s basically about how slutty she is.”

Industry experts agree the transition is both unavoidable and meticulously planned.

“Right now, she’s in the sunlit innocence stage,” said one anonymous entertainment consultant while checking his phone. “Next comes the edgier image, followed by a bold creative statement, and eventually a magazine interview where she explains that the Disney years were ‘great, but limiting.’”

The actress herself has not commented publicly, though sources say her team has already secured a moody, half-naked photo shoot, a drunken late-night talk show appearance, and a single with a strategically vague title like "Unfiltered" or "This Is Me Now (Actually)".

Despite the carefully choreographed nature of the transition, fans insist it’s completely organic.

“She’s just being herself,” the kid explained confidently. “It just happens to line up perfectly with a new album, tour, and rebrand rollout.”

At press time, executives confirmed the next, super slutty phase, would begin shortly after the actress' PR team updates her Wikipedia page to quietly drop the words “child star.”